Gently Unfurling
“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.” Lewis Carrol emboldens readers to understand the transcendent & ever-changing nature of our identities.
Who are you?
How do we define ourselves? True self-understanding requires us to surpass all relative labels and roles, to find our core identity underneath it all. Who are we without our expectations of ourselves and our responsibilities towards others? Without our achievements, our jobs, relationships, national identities, cultural identities, without what people think of us, without our shoulds, and our shouldn’ts?
At times, our childhood environments can play pivotal roles in shaping our core beliefs and ideas about the world. Some of these beliefs might tell us that we are unlovable or worthless, that people can’t be trusted, that we need to overachieve in order to prove our worth, or that it is forbidden to show and feel our feelings.
Could it be that a persistent focus on fulfilling these roles and labels in order to feel validated, worthy and accepted by others can ironically lead to an abandonment of our true selves? In a desperate attempt to grasp for something to stop the pain of suffering, we may race towards what we think will make us feel better—finding that job, making more money, having a relationship, or using various substances. However, external circumstances can not make internal emotions disappear.
To Thine Own Self be True
To thine own self be true- A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others. In this moment, I challenge you to surrender who you think you are and who you ought to be, and sit in quiet contemplation of your transcendent identity. When we sit quietly and let go of every false self-definition from our parents, our peers and society, of everything you think you know about who you are, and then be what’s left, what does your true self say and what does it need?
Listen to the self. What do we need? Are those needs getting met? What do we feel? What do we need to do to take care of our feelings? What are our feelings telling us about ourselves and the direction we need to go? What do we want to do or say? What are our instincts telling us? What is at the core once we unfurl the layers of the rigid ways in which we have defined and limited ourselves?
Losing yourself to Find yourself again
How much do we truly understand and accept ourselves? Mindfully practicing authenticity is the daily practice of surrendering who we think we should be and accepting who we are. Authenticity requires us to be compassionate toward ourselves and recognise that we are all made of strength and struggle. Authenticity advises cultivating a sense of self-love and acceptance, which can only blossom when we believe we are enough. Authenticity is a set of choices that we must make every day. It is about making the decision to show up and be genuine, it is about deciding to be truthful, about deciding to allow our true selves to be seen. How can we tap into an inner voice that is so soft like a whisper, that accepts, honours, loves and heals? How can we start listening to a voice of love rather than one of fear?
